40 Fit N' Stylish
Melissa McNallan Refine Meeting

So I went to a REFINE Meeting and…

March 23, 2018 2 Comments

I’ve been on the hunt for clarity. How about you?

There is always SO much on my to-do list! How about yours?

Melissa McNallan Refine Meeting

Me about to attend REFINE

My To-Do List Today:

    • Go to the RAC and run on an elliptical for an hour. So this is one of the to-do’s that I have done and I just have to say it was kind of tough today. Usually I listen to an audiobook. Today, I chose to watch the news and listen to music. I lost count of the amount of times I started to feel tears welling. Finally, I had to give up on the news and scroll through cute shoes on my Zappos app to recover composure. Have you been having this struggle with all of the shootings at schools, of black men by cops, etc. and the general state of the world?
    • Coffee and eggs sandwiches with my guy at Coffee and Bagels. Did you know you can cut calories on your bagel by asking them to make it Thintastic?
    • Run billing and follow-up for my guy’s company.
    • Decide on recipes to make for the next few days. This can be a process, especially when everyone seems to be getting bored by the options. We have switched from eating out for most meals to eating at home 95%+ of the time. This morning I gave in to myself and subscribed to NYT’s Cooking.
    • Make grocery list.
    • Laundry.
    • Closet and dresser re-org. We just moved and our apparel space is a little tight. Thank goodness for Rent the Runway!
    • Grocery shopping.
    • Cute boot / shoe shopping. Fingers crossed that I find an amazing sale on boots that actually fit around my calves. Some people wish they had a thinner waist. Right now, I will stop eating monster cookies for svelter calves!
    • Write blog post.
    • Shop for new ironing board cover, because our puppy peed on ours and no amount of cleaning is going to make me okay with that. I. Just. Can’t. Even.
    • Depending what is spent on other must-haves, consider buying a waffle iron.
    • DailyOM Yoga.
    • Lunch providing or making. I thinking it’s a simple sandwich or snack box kind of a day.
    • Get hair blown out.
    • Do research for my next piece.

And I want to get it all done before arriving at the Bleu Duck Kitchen for Happy Hour (which starts at 4p.m.)

This past Wednesday, I was invited to a REFINE meeting by my friend and Financial Adviser, Cindy. REFINE is an acronym for Renew, Encourage, Fulfill, Inspire, Nurture, and Equip.


It’s a two hour meeting. Two hours! And I didn’t have any less on my to-do list on Wednesday. In fact, I felt like I had more. Wednesday nights are kid nights (meaning 4 of my fiance’s children come over to our house) and we’ve been eating at home and I like to have some sweet made before they come in the house and…and…and…

What was I thinking when I said yes? If you know me, you know this happens a lot.

Also, if you know me, you might know that I have been a woman in search of clarity. As I drove to the meeting on Wednesday, I thought about how cool it is that I want clarity and I’m attending a meeting called REFINE.

To refine is to remove unwanted elements from something. There are elements of my life that I need to be cool with removing if I want to achieve clarity.

Then I walked through the door and saw some faces I knew and some that I did not. My guesstimate is that there were about 30 women in the room. We were all seated at smaller tables of between 6 to 8 women.

Melissa McNallan Refine Meeting with Others

Teri Johnson, founder of REFINE was there. She opened the meeting with some words to meditate on (at least I found them ones I wanted to meditate on) and a prayer. Then we journaled for five minutes while soft music played in the background.

A couple of themes from the meeting:

      • If you have been called, He has equipped you.
      • Be strong and courageous.

Excerpts from My 5 Minutes of Journaling:

Believing with courage for me might be about mustering up the power to say no and being content, which really isn’t so awful. How hard is that?

It’s okay to need the time for me, for my family, those I most want to serve. And right now in my life it is okay and and I am supported in finding ways to serve others in ways that are meaningful to me.

I like the idea of being equipped for the calling. I am equipped for my blogging and writing life. My Grandma Lynch, my mom, and countless teachers gave me a love and sense of reverence for words. Elementary years were filled with Book It awards, writing awards, and spelling classroom contest wins. From 5th grade through 8th grade, my teachers sent me to a Writing Conference held in Rochester each year. In 6th grade I was one of the editors of our class newspaper.

I am also equipped because my guy wants to and is able to provide for us; and, he wants for me to do work that fulfills me. His one request is that I do not pursue work that includes pushing him down a large hill. Men and their particular-itis, right? It’s like he thinks he can make all these demands!

Some other bits of wisdom that I heard and jotted down during the REFINE meeting:

        • With any decision to move forward, are you using truth?
        • “Above all else, guard your heart.”
        • Look for the treasure in your life.
        • Take the next best step. Movement creates momentum.
        • Plan. Do. Review.
        • A well-defined target market focuses on the niche. Look at your current customers. Why do they buy from you?
        • What problems do I love solving for my clients? — This is a question I keep thinking about. Which problems do I want to help my readers solve? Hmmm…What are their problem? Are they the same as mine?

I would love to know what is on your mind! Please email me at melissa@40fitnstylish.com and let me know.

P.S. I found a lot of value in the REFINE meeting and plan to join. It was so much more than a business or a networking meeting to me. I felt it was an opportunity to work on both my personal and professional growth in the company of women. While most of the women are like-minded in a desire to grow, there seemed to be a welcome diversity of perspectives and talents.

March 21, 2018



  1. Cindy Sheppard

    March 23, 2018

    Melissa, nice job capturing the themes from the Refine Meeting on Weds. I’m so excited that you will be joining the group. Thank you for sharing your writing talents…so darn relatable.

    • mmcnallan

      March 25, 2018

      Thanks so much Cindy!

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