I didn’t think I’d get it done. My goal was to put together an Easter morning spread for others to wake up to. At 11 p.m., I lost the will to bake.
I thought I’d have the kitchen to myself after dinner. Instead, I played Awkward Family Photos with Chris and his kids. “Should we go to bed early, so the Easter Bunny can come?” asked his youngest. He was more joking than not.
I wanted to say, “yes, please!” That might have tipped others off to my plan. I couldn’t have that; so, my to-do list waited until it was close to my normal bedtime.
Tiredness took over as I topped cranberry scones with orange frosting. Cornbread muffins were baking in the oven. I did the dishes with too hot of water as I waited.
After the muffins and dishes were done, I felt a burning sensation in three of my fingers on my left hand. The pain was so intense that I imagined waking to charred fingers. Being touched made them hurt more.
Going to bed with to-do’s left undone was the consequence of getting to work on the to-do list later than intended. Surprising and delighting others is one of life’s pleasures, so I set the alarm for 4:10 a.m. and hoped to wake up with enough time and energy to complete my Easter morning mission before anyone stirred.
My fingers still felt like they were on fire. There was no evidence of anything being wrong with them. They looked fine. I told myself over and over that it was a trick of the mind. My imagination has always been a challenge to conquer.
Earlier in the week most of my fingers turned white, ice cold, and numb. Maybe I have Reynaud’s Syndrome…
The burning sensation left. A minute or two later, my phone dinged. It was 11:34. A group chat of Happy Easter wishes started. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
My alarm went off at 4:10. I woke up and started putting together baskets for four of Chris’s kids. We wouldn’t be seeing his other three.
By 5:15 a.m. the baskets were set on the island. I rinsed, cut, and set out fruit: cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, and raspberries. Twenty minutes later, I asked Chris if he wanted to get up and go for coffee with me. He favored sleep.
I opened my laptop to Jordan Marsh’s Blueberry Muffins recipe and reviewed the ingredients. Before leaving for Caribou, I sifted together the dry ingredients and put liners into a muffin pan. I’m working towards making like a French chef and having everything mise en place.
Once I returned from my coffee run, I baked the Blueberry Muffins. Another of life’s pleasures is waking up to the smell of muffins or breads baking. I did not ask, but I do hope that the others were greeted by that smell as they woke.
I think the Vinayasa 3 Yoga class taught by Bruce helped me achieve the spread sans stress. During the last class, he talked about how the force of the wind can buffet us. He encouraged us to remember our strength when being buffeted; and, to know that we have everything we need within us. I’ve been receiving this message a lot (So, I Went to a Refine Meeting And…).
As we took on the more challenging sequences, Bruce reminded us to call on our inner Yes-I-Can. Once, I had to surrender into Child’s Pose. I told myself, “yes I can surrender. I am able to let go of my ego and give my body what it needs.”
As I moved through the sequences required to set up my mind’s Easter morning spread, I didn’t stress. Moments of doubt were replaced by Yes-I-Cans without thinking.
Everything was set just-so and I was clicking away at my laptop, before anyone woke. The youngest came upstairs, looked around, and seemed delighted. Chris saw the spread, hugged me, and called me amazing.
Today’s feat was small. I wasn’t performing in front of hundreds, or writing for a large-circulation magazine. Yet, it was significant. I was showing the people I live with that they matter to me.
Side note: *The Cranberry Orange Scones were made using Martha Stewart’s recipe for Irish Soda Scones. I substituted dried cranberries for the currants.
This post is part of a series inspired by Eat Pray Love.